Moving On...

Before I even started my period after this third medicated try, I began to think about the next step. I was going back and forth in my head for a while: IVF or Adoption? It wasn't until two nights ago, my partner and I sat down and had a pretty open and honest discussion. Although I thought I was leaning towards IVF, as we began to talk through things, I found myself saying and feeling things that I had not been aware that I felt. We made a decision, we will pursue adoption. Then something very strange and unexpected happened. Within an hour or so, I began to feel almost giddy. I felt like an enormous weight had been lifted. It was then I realized the toll that this process has taken on me, mentally and physically. It is very hard to describe the extreme happiness and comfort I have found in making this decision. I smiled all the way  home from the post office after mailing our initial adoption application. I can hardly wait to welcome a little baby into our lives in a year or so! However, if I am being honest I am also very excited to drink as much coffee as I want, have a glass of wine when I want, go back on birth control (periods are unbearable without it), feel good enough to exercise everyday, and have a clear head again without all the drugs messing with me! Anyway, I am ending this blog, because it served as a way for me to communicate my stresses to my friends and family without having to do that face-to-face. It was also therapeutic for me. Thanks for "listening."