The past few days have been great, as I have been out of town and busy with family. Today is the first day I have been able to sit down and think. Yesterday and today I have not felt well at all. I can't tell if its the flu or the trigger shot that still hasn't left my system. It has been almost a week since I triggered and last cycle it took about 8 days to get a negative pregnancy test (pregnancy tests will come up positive when the trigger is in your system). I'd say I am still optimistic at this point, but can't help but feel some dread for the day I take a pregnancy test (10/10). Its such a weird feeling to want to fast forward to that day to find out, but to also be sick knowing theres a good shot you will see another negative...
I have read in the past that when you are pregnant "you just know it and can feel it." This haunts me a bit because I don't know what that means and I get upset when I don't "just feel it." A good friend recently just got pregnant after trying for a long time with Clomid. She also said she knew before she even took the test it was going to be positive because she felt different. So, now I start thinking about how I feel every day and whether I feel different. It is only 4 days after the IUI, but I am starting to over-think everything. I become torn between interpreting all of the little things like breast soreness and nausea, and my scientific understanding that the trigger shot mimics pregnancy symptoms. I also am starting to lean heavily towards this being my last try with IUI and then possibly taking a break until December and doing IVF. I realized lately the emotional and physical toll this has taken on me and how it is getting in the way of my productivity at work. Its hard to admit that I am struggling with all of this and cant overcome the emotions. On that note I am off to do productive work things:)
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